First Blogging day/Getting to know our journey

We have been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant for about 1 year, give or take a few days. I have been on clomid those months except for the 3 around the ectopic we had in January.

That loss was very hard. We had been trying for so long, without telling our families that we were. We finally got pregnant after trying for months just to find out that the pregnancy had to be terminated or I would bleed out internally and pass away. So, we made the very hard decision to end that pregnancy. It was horrible. Not only were we going through the loss of our baby, we were trying to wrap our heads around the loss of our niece just the week before. Needless to say, that month was not a good one for us. But, what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, right?!?

Now, we are enlisting the help of a RE (reproductive endrocrinologist). We are hopeful that this will be our ticket to a baby. She didn't sound very encouraging since I have a history of ectopic. That IVF (invitro fertilization) will be required to get pregnant again. We'll get the results to all of our tests next Thursday at our appointment and get a plan of action. Hopefully, this gives us our baby.

This journey for this baby has been a very hard, long and confusing journey. After getting pregnant with my son so quickly and easily this time is getting very frustrating. No one seems to have the answers of why this is happening to us this time. Each day has a different emotion. Someday's I'm very hopeful that, that cycle is the ONE!! Others is a down day where I don't think that this will ever happen again. The days in between are the spots in between those emotions. It's just very hard if you have never been down the road of infertility and loss to explain the emotions that go along with every cycle. But, I'll try to give you the blow by blow of how I'm doing at each point of this journey.

I just started this new cycle on Wednesday. Tonight is the night I start 100mg of clomid. I hope the side effects aren't too bad. I usually just get hot flashes at night and sometimes during the day. I can usually get comfortable by just uncovering or finding a cooler place to settle into. There are some emotional side effects too. I think I get grumpier and can be set off a little easier. But, Garrett is doing a great job getting through those. I think he understands that it's not him, it's the medicine. He's a great trooper!

Garrett goes for testing on Monday and hopefully we have the results by Thursday when we see the doctor. I'm anxious to see what road she thinks we should go down. I'll try and keep everyone updated.